Change Yourself First

Douglas A. Abbott (2003) shares three principles that can lead toward greater marital satisfaction: (1) Change your behavior: Change first. (2) Change your attitude. (3) Change your heart. He also includes three ways to change ourselves first as follows: Exercise patience with your partners faults and annoying habits. Drop the insistence that he or she must changeTake responsibility to change yourself and improve the relationship. The focus becomes you not your partner. You change first. Assuming there is good will and love between you and your spouse, your partner may then desire to also change. As you act in loving, forgiving, and benevolent ways, your spouse may reciprocate.