Beanie Babies

But wait, you re saying. I just saw Beanie Babies in a store recently! Alas, what you actually saw are the last defiant but dying members of a once strong, once plentiful race of small stuffed animals that proudly went by such names as Legs the Frog, Flash the Dolphin, and Chocolate the Moose (all which sound like the nicknames of the most hilariously inept mobsters ever). As demand for the toy grew, various designs would be retired ( or whacked, as was the case with that bigmouth Squealer the Pig ). Of course, removing certain models only resulted in parents beating the crap out of each other over a rare Beanie Baby, resulting in countless trails in which the defendant s own layer couldn t stop laughing before blurting out , Over a freakin lobster named Pinchers!