ways to overcome anger

So instead of saying, You didnt show up so you obviously dont care about me, say, When you forget about the things that are important to me, I feel hurt. In this way, youre not assuming the other person meant to make you feel bad youre just explaining how it makes you feel so they can understand how their actions impact you.

Sometimes one annoyance can open the floodgates to a laundry list of complaints but no one responds well to a barrage of criticism. Stick to the issue at hand, and address the other things at some other time.

Its possible that they feel angry, too, and think that youre the one in the wrong. Its also possible that there isnt a right or wrong, but rather two people who see things differently and need to see each others point of view.

If your goal is to get the other person to admit that theyre wrong, youll probably end up in a power struggle. Focus instead on what youd like to change in the future for example, youd appreciate it if she would come straight to you next time instead of complaining about you behind your back. You can help facilitate this by owning some responsibility that you will listen if he comes to you instead of getting emotional.

This situation taught you something useful about what you value in the people you choose to be friends with maybe directness, humility, or loyalty. This will help you decide which people you might want to spend more or less time with going forward.

It might be something you need to improve your relationship, or it might be that you need to end a relationship because you know it doesnt serve you. Learn it, own it, act on it.

This experience was an exercise in expressing yourself in the best way to be heard and understood. There will definitely be more situations like this in the future, so this is good practice for misunderstandings and struggles to come.

Maybe you reacted too quickly, so now youve learned to put more space between your feelings and your response. Maybe you got defensive, and the other person shut down, so youve learned to be less accusatory in the future.

You probably realized somewhere along this journey that you played some role in the situation. Very rarely is it black and white. Once you own your part, now you can use that knowledge to create more peaceful relationships going forward.