Marriage Tips
21. Nothing is more important in a marriage than the relationship between husband and wife
When other things become more important, such as careers, children, and personal pursuits, trouble sets in. Make the relationship your top priority. When you do, the marriage flourishes.
22. Are you creating more pleasurable interactions in your marriage or are you making it painful or unpleasant for your spouse
If your spouse treats you with kindness, gentleness, patience and self control, its easy for you to respond kindly. If you are treated badly, with anger, impatience, etc., its difficult to be nice in return. Focus on how you can be a blessing to your spouse and, in turn, you will be blessed and so will your marriage.
23. Never begin a sentence with the word you
Instead start with the word I and then share your feelings instead of your thoughts. This is not as easy as it sounds because we all disguise a lot of thoughts as feelings, as in I feel like you are avoiding me. Genuine feelings are sad, angry, happy, lonely, frustrated, etc ... and sharing your core feelings creates better communication, and more connection and compassion.
24. Change your focus
. Change your focus to one of learning to appreciate your partner
25. Let go of criticism and blame
Focus on what there is to appreciate about your mate, then honestly and spontaneously express your specific appreciation to them. Its also good to do this for yourself.
26. Never lose the fine art of dating
Setting aside a romantic evening on a regular basis can rekindle the magic of a long term relationship. It doesnt have to be fancy, just special time for the two of you to remember how and why you first fell in love.
27. Have regular times even if its just for 15 minutes
to check in on your relationship and what you appreciate about each other.No talk about kids, schedules, etc. allowed
28. Love your marriage by first taking care of yourself
So many of my patients say the reason their marriage fell apart is that they became depressed and disinterested in their partner. If you keep working on you, your marriage will stay fresh and vital. Start today by adding a new wedding vow to your list: Promise to take care of yourself so you will continue to age with grace and confidence by your partners side.
29. Recognize that your husband or wife is mirroring back to you who you are
So take whatever youre upset with him/her about and use it to help yourself look squarely at what you need to do in order to grow and evolvethe relationship will thrive!
30. Take time to have some fun together every day
With todays hectic schedules, its easy to find your marriage at the bottom of the priority list. Take a walk and hold hands (nature calms), couple cook (food fight!), exercise together (tennis or dancing maybe?) or just collect a Daily Joke to share. It doesnt have to be expensive, but if you make the commitment and effort to laugh together as often as possible, it can sweeten your connection and cement your relationship for life.
