marriage tips

Marriage Tips

11. If your goal is to have a satisfying marriage with longevity
denial about your part in the relationship then you are no better than a child flinging sand at another child in a sandbox. When you take responsibility for your part in the marriage, only then will you be able to connectwith your partner in a mature, intimate way.
12. Research consistently shows that touching more creates a stronger bond by releasing oxytocin
Hold hands, rub shoulders, hug, kiss, give high fives or even fist bumps or bottom pats. When you give a quick hug or kiss, try to lengthen it to at least 5 or 10 seconds for more effective results!
13. Learn how to agree to disagree
No two people agree on everything, and thats okay, but its important to be okay with each others differences.
14. Sometimes its not about the amount of money you spend on a gift
its about the thought that goes into something.Take the time to write a thoughtful note every so often saying what youloveand appreciate about him/her. Drop it in his/her briefcase or purse so he/she will find it unexpectedly and it will brighten up his/her day.
15. For men its important to understand that women want to be listened to
Men dont need to solve or fix everything; listening itself is an exceptional gift. For women, its important to understand that men need time for themselves. By giving him space to pull away and not taking it personally, you allow him to reconnect with his desire for you and his commitment to the relationship.
16. The biggest waste of effort in a marriage is trying to change your spouse
since the problems you have with your spouse are generally problems you have in yourself. When you try to change your spouse you come across as a nag and wind up sending the message that who you are is not enough. Nobody likes getting that message, and it leads to distance and polarization. Let your spouse be who he or she is and focus on changing yourself.
17. See problems
boredom in the bedroom, lack of conversations, resentment as symptoms and treat those symptoms just as you would treat a chronic illness that seemingly has no cure. Throw at it every possible remedy youve got, no matter how alternative or weird it seems. Chances are one or more of them will actually work and your marriage will get stronger and stronger.
18. Next time you argue with your partner
drop the shaming, blaming, needing to be right, and really listen without interrupting.Then communicate how you feel, using I statements. Its not your partners job to read your mind, guess what youre thinking, or put words into your mouth. These are huge obstacles to open, honest communication and will guarantee resentment, anger, and frustration in the relationship.
19. In order to strengthen your marriage
learn to recognize that most arguments have shared responsibility, that both people have valid points and valid reasons for their feelings.
20. Fair is not a four letter word
You may have forgotten about fairness, but nows the time to bring it back into your relationship. Are you both being fair when it comes to divvying up chores, communicating your needs, expressing dissatisfaction, dealing with finances, parenting, and supporting one another? If not, how can you improve and bring fairness back to the relationship?