wedding

Most relationships get stuck at some point and they need a little help to get unstuck. Therefore, one of the best ways we can prepare for wedding is to overcome the stigma sometimes associated with seeking marital therapy. Couples who are proactive and who seek therapy early, before their relationship is falling apart, are wise.

Rather than just the stock discuss your expectations for money, consider writing down and comparing some specific numbers. What do you expect your combined income to be five years from now? Will you have separate or joint bank accounts? How much do you each think should be saved for retirement? What percentage of your income should be spent on vacations or travel? How much can you each spend per month without consulting the other?

Some pre marital exercises have people describe whether their partner is frugal or lavish. But as one married friend pointed out, her husband

The first few years may be easy, splitting or alternating holidays between your family and your spouses. When kids enter the picture, though, your presence will become more sought after by the grandparents. Will you want huge extended family gatherings that may require travel? Or would you rather establish quiet holidays at your own home? Do you need snow underfoot, or does a bright Hawaiian Christmas Day sound just as nice? Now s the time to think ahead about what traditions you did like to maintain or establish.

Running a household is almost like running a business, with a surprisingly wide variety of tasks to be performed. Theres vacuuming, cooking, laundry, bill paying, grocery shopping, doing dishes, car maintenance, home repair, yard work, cleaning bathrooms, taking out garbage, filing taxes and managing gadgets, for starters. Make a list of those chores, plus any others that come to mind. Circle the ones you like to do, and X the ones you prefer not to. Have your partner do the same. Compare lists. Negotiate.

Talk about how arguments were resolved in each of your families and what you might like to do differently. Agree on some ground rules. Some basics: talk it out, lower your voice, and do not use the silent treatment. Also, never threaten to withdraw love or sex. And although you will hear other couples do it, do not embarrass each other in front of others.

Several couples have told us the biggest challenge of the first year of wedding was simply getting used to each others quirks. And a moment of truth during our official marriage preparation class underscored that. Around noon, I got hungry. Knowing myself, I had snacks in my purse, but the talking went on without a break. One o clock came. And when we were finally let off for lunch, we didnt know the neighborhood. This looks trashy, I complained. We will never find a decent place to eat on such a trashy street.

A good, stout sense of humor is indispensable for a great wedding. Try to see the humor in difficult situations, it will help you both roll with tough times much better.