How To Build or Rebuild Trust

1. When we tell the truth, even when it isn t pleasant, we become much more trustworthy. Becoming known as a person who doesn t lie, even in tough times or moments of significant pressure, shows people your moral strength. Being appreciated for honesty sustains trustworthiness. .....

Set Your Expectations

2. Studies show the average person tells 4 lies per day. People are human, frail, and sinful. The key is to trust people as who they are rather than the person we want them to be. .....

Do What You Say Youre Going To Do

3. The foundation of trust typically doesn t break suddenly, it erodes over time. Keep your eye on the small things. Canceling or failing to follow through on simple tasks will create hairline fractures in your trustworthiness. Enough of those, and the foundation will crumble. .....

Be A Better Communicator

4. This is the single most important part of relationship management. There are many ways to grow your skills in this area but start with being a better listener (and the most effective listeners use their eyes). Remember that 93% of communication is non verbal. .....

Express Your Needs Clearly

5. Value your needs enough to convey them. It s unfair and unhealthy to exist in a relationship where your partner or friends must guess about your needs. .....

Be Positive

6. This goes hand in hand with smiling. We naturally trust people we perceive to be nice. Why do you think salespeople grin so much? I once heard a researcher say when it comes to trust we believe 99% of what we see and 1% of what we hear. .....

Embrace Shared Rather Than Personal Goals

7. Trust comes when we feel our partner (or team) is pulling together to accomplish a shared vision, rather than a personal agenda. This is the essence of teamwork. When a team really works, the players trust one another. As my wife always says it takes teamwork to make the dream work. .....

Dont Allow Issues To Go Unresolved

8. Allowing any issue, no matter how small, to go unaddressed manifests into larger issues. Putting a problem off for later discussion or dismissing it with hopes of it being forgotten is the worst conflict resolution strategy. If you have an issue, address it, even if only to acknowledge it. When you start talking about a problem, you re half way to resolving the problem. .....

Hold To Your Highest Moral Standard

9. This is very important in romantic relationships or when leading a team. It s critical for people to feel confident that you will not falter or betray them. When your ability to be true or dedicated isn t questioned, being trusted becomes a stronger consideration. .....

Volunteer Information

10. I fall victim to this often. I ll come back from hanging out with the fellas and my wife will ask how it went and I ll say it was cool. No bueno Why? Because she wants to know more than that. When an opportunity to be vague arises, don t take it. Tell people things they need or want to know. If you begin to provide reliable information they will trust you. .....

Be Consistent

11. This is a character trait very easily determined. It underscores your reliability and predictability. Someone with consistent character is thought to have good judgement in handling situations. .....

Treat People Fairly And Equally

12. Plain and simple, apply the rule Treat others as you would like to be treated. When you do that, not only are you typically reciprocated but you also exude the character of someone who is trustworthy. .....

Be A Confidant

13. Don t be a gossip. Enough said. You can only be trusted when people know you to be discreet with secrets. .....

Fight Fair

14. Despite what many say, fighting is a part of any good relationship. The problem is not that couples fight, but how they fight. If you fight unfairly, then you destroy trust. If you fight fairly, you build trust. A fair fight means that you never resort to name calling or putdowns, keep the discussion in the present, don t use phrases that are absolutes (such as you never or you always ), don t bring the other person s family into the issue to .....

Come clean

15. If you are the one who betrayed someone else, you need to come clean. In interpersonal relationships, it s especially important to tell the truth when you would benefit from a lie.If you have betrayed someone, coming clean at your own expense tells the other person that their well being is more important than your own.Denial will only make the other party's distrust run deeper, especially if the truth is already clear.Admit all of your mistakes. .....

Expect an emotional reaction from the other person

16. Admitting that you betrayed someone is not going to make things easier immediately. On the contrary, you can expect an emotional outburst yelling, crying, and so on from the other person when she hears you admit your betrayal. But remember, the best way to move on is by putting it all into the open. .....

Apologize

17. This one should be obvious, but unfortunately, sometimes it gets overlooked. How you approach saying your apology will influence whether or not the apology is accepted and you both can move on.When apologizing, avoid justifying your actions.Don t claim that the offended person misunderstood you ( you read that wrong ). Don t deny their hurt ( you didn t even get hurt ). Don t tell a sad tale ( I had a troubled childhood ).The best way to accept r .....

Forgive yourself

18. When you violate someone's trust, you may feel so regretful that you have a hard time forgiving yourself for the violation. While a repentant heart is an essential part of making up with the person you betrayed, you also need to accept and learn to forgive yourself after you put the effort into making amends.Remember that no one is perfect. Whether your error in judgment was minor or major, it goes to show that you are only human. Accept your fai .....

Make your life transparent for the other person

19. Everybody wants to control personal information.But, for a little while, you may need to forfeit a portion of your privacy for the sake of the person trying to trust you again. By making your life transparent, the other person will be able to confirm with their own eyes that you are not in the midst of another betrayal.This is especially important in romantic relationships broken apart by infidelity. Give your significant other complete, uncensor .....

Let the other person vent

20. Hard feelings are natural after any betrayal. The person who feels betrayed will need to vent their emotions and thoughts to heal. It might be unpleasant for you, but it is essential for the other person.One of the worst things you can do is attempt to get them to shut up while expressing their anger. This action shows that you are not taking this person s feelings seriously.Let the other person vent at their own pace. Everyone goes about thing .....

Keep your word going forward

21. Actions speak louder than words. Trust between two people means that you have to be dependable and consistent over a long period of time.You should make a promise to do better, but a promise or apology alone with only restore trust short term.If you can t be honest in the future, or cannot do all that you promise to do, the person you betrayed will be unable to accept that you have changed or that you are worthy of being trusted again.You should .....

Stay patient

22. Understand that rebuilding trust takes time. Be patient with the other person, but be persistent in your own efforts.Depending on the severity of your betrayal, building trust can take weeks, months, or years.Never pressure the other person into showing you more trust.Understand that things may never be quite the same after your betrayal, but if you show that you are a trustworthy person, some level of trust can usually be revived. .....

Assess the situation

23. Before you can rebuild trust in someone after they betrayed you, you should first ask yourself if the relationship is one you want to salvage. Ask yourself,Is this the first time this person betrayed me?Will I really be able to trust this person again, even if they do everything perfectly from now on?Am I able to forgive?Is the relationship I have with this person important enough to fight for?Is this a one time mistake or a pattern of behavior? .....

Consider the persons reaction to the situation

24. Do they seem genuinely sorry for hurting you, or sorry that they got caught? Are they willing to listen to you and make an effort to do better next time? Are they willing to accept blame?If they don't seem to truly regret hurting you, or aren't interested in making things better, then this relationship probably isn't worth your time. .....

Keep an eye out for continued deception

25. Continue to assess the situation as you progress. After a few weeks to months, you should be able to notice signs of trustworthiness in the person who betrayed you. Trying to determine whether someone is lying is tricky business, but the following clues might signal deception. .....

Express your feelings

26. Let the person who betrayed you know just how deeply you were hurt by their actions. Most importantly, tell your betrayer exactly what it was that hurt you. Tell them what you need so that you will start trusting that person again. .....

Try to let go of your anger

27. Once you let out your anger, let it go. After you have discussed the betrayal, you need to let it stay in the past. Even if you feel sad or angry now, you won t feel this way forever. Don t bring it up in future arguments, especially if the other person has shown an effort to make amends for the action. .....

Adjust your expectations

28. Even if someone never wants to hurt you, no one will be able to give you exactly what you need, 100 percent of the time. Once you understand that you should not expect perfection, you can get a better idea of how much trust you actually can put in the other person. .....

Give and receive love

29. You need to be willing to accept and love the person who betrayed you, and you also need to accept the love that person gives you in return. When your betrayer tries to express affection, accept that the acts of affection are the real thing. Try to accept an action that seems honest. .....