how to build or rebuild trust

How To Build or Rebuild Trust

Trust can take a lifetime to build and only a second to lose.
21. Keep your word going forward
Actions speak louder than words. Trust between two people means that you have to be dependable and consistent over a long period of time.You should make a promise to do better, but a promise or apology alone with only restore trust short term.If you can t be honest in the future, or cannot do all that you promise to do, the person you betrayed will be unable to accept that you have changed or that you are worthy of being trusted again.You should avoid making the same mistake at all costs.
22. Stay patient
Understand that rebuilding trust takes time. Be patient with the other person, but be persistent in your own efforts.Depending on the severity of your betrayal, building trust can take weeks, months, or years.Never pressure the other person into showing you more trust.Understand that things may never be quite the same after your betrayal, but if you show that you are a trustworthy person, some level of trust can usually be revived.
23. Assess the situation
Before you can rebuild trust in someone after they betrayed you, you should first ask yourself if the relationship is one you want to salvage. Ask yourself,Is this the first time this person betrayed me?Will I really be able to trust this person again, even if they do everything perfectly from now on?Am I able to forgive?Is the relationship I have with this person important enough to fight for?Is this a one time mistake or a pattern of behavior?
24. Consider the persons reaction to the situation
Do they seem genuinely sorry for hurting you, or sorry that they got caught? Are they willing to listen to you and make an effort to do better next time? Are they willing to accept blame?If they don't seem to truly regret hurting you, or aren't interested in making things better, then this relationship probably isn't worth your time.
25. Keep an eye out for continued deception
Continue to assess the situation as you progress. After a few weeks to months, you should be able to notice signs of trustworthiness in the person who betrayed you. Trying to determine whether someone is lying is tricky business, but the following clues might signal deception.
26. Express your feelings
Let the person who betrayed you know just how deeply you were hurt by their actions. Most importantly, tell your betrayer exactly what it was that hurt you. Tell them what you need so that you will start trusting that person again.
27. Try to let go of your anger
Once you let out your anger, let it go. After you have discussed the betrayal, you need to let it stay in the past. Even if you feel sad or angry now, you won t feel this way forever. Don t bring it up in future arguments, especially if the other person has shown an effort to make amends for the action.
28. Adjust your expectations
Even if someone never wants to hurt you, no one will be able to give you exactly what you need, 100 percent of the time. Once you understand that you should not expect perfection, you can get a better idea of how much trust you actually can put in the other person.
29. Give and receive love
You need to be willing to accept and love the person who betrayed you, and you also need to accept the love that person gives you in return. When your betrayer tries to express affection, accept that the acts of affection are the real thing. Try to accept an action that seems honest.