money

Money quotes
Money
1.

All that remains to the mother in modern consumer society is the role of scapegoat; psychoanalysis uses huge amounts of money and time to persuade analysis and to foist their problems on to the absent mother, who has no opportunity to utter a word in her own defense. Hostility to the mother in our societies is an index of mental health.

- Greer, Germaine
2.

Nothing that is God's is obtainable by money.

- Tertullian
3.

INSURANCE, n. An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table. INSURANCE AGENT: My dear sir, that is a fine house -- pray let me insure it. HOUSE OWNER: With pleasure. Please make the annual premium so low that by the time when, according to the tables of your actuary, it will probably be destroyed by fire I will have paid you considerably less than the face of the policy. INSURANCE AGENT: O dear, no -- we could not afford to do that. We must fix the premium so that you will have paid more. HOUSE OWNER: How, then, can _I_ afford _that_? INSURANCE AGENT: Why, your house may burn down at any time. There was Smith's house, for example, which -- HOUSE OWNER: Spare me -- there were Brown's house, on the contrary, and Jones's house, and Robinson's house, which -- INSURANCE AGENT: Spare _me_! HOUSE OWNER: Let us understand each other. You want me to pay you money on the supposition that something will occur previously to the time set by yourself for its occurrence. In other words, you expect me to bet that my house will not last so long as you say that it will probably last. INSURANCE AGENT: But if your house burns without insurance it will be a total loss. HOUSE OWNER: Beg your pardon -- by your own actuary's tables I shall probably have saved, when it burns, all the premiums I would otherwise have paid to you -- amounting to more than the face of the policy they would have bought. But suppose it to burn, uninsured, before the time upon which your figures are based. If I could not afford that, how could you if it were insured? INSURANCE AGENT: O, we should make ourselves whole from our luckier ventures with other clients. Virtually, they pay your loss. HOUSE OWNER: And virtually, then, don't I help to pay their losses? Are not their houses as likely as mine to burn before they have paid you as much as you must pay them? The case stands this way: you expect to take more money from your clients than you pay to them, do you not? INSURANCE AGENT: Certainly; if we did not -- HOUSE OWNER: I would not trust you with my money. Very well then. If it is _certain_, with reference to the whole body of your clients, that they lose money on you it is _probable_, with reference to any one of them, that _he_ will. It is these individual probabilities that make the aggregate certainty. INSURANCE AGENT: I will not deny it -- but look at the figures in this pamph -- HOUSE OWNER: Heaven forbid! INSURANCE AGENT: You spoke of saving the premiums which you would otherwise pay to me. Will you not be more likely to squander them? We offer you an incentive to thrift. HOUSE OWNER: The willingness of A to take care of B's money is not peculiar to insurance, but as a charitable institution you command esteem. Deign to accept its expression from a Deserving Object.

- Ambrose Bierce
4.

Part of your heritage in this society is the opportunity to become financially independent.

- Rohn, Jim
5.

Money does not change the sickness, only the symptoms.

- John Steinbeck
6.

The shortest period of time lies between the minute you put some money away for a rainy day and the unexpected arrival of rain.

- Quinn, Jane Bryant
7.

Economy is half the battle of life. It is not so hard to earn money as to spend it well.

- Spurgeon, Charles Haddon
8.

The sinews of war, a limitless supply of money.

- Cicero, Marcus T.
9.

The lack of money is the root of all evils.

- Twain, Mark
10.

Many people make the mistake of thinking that all the challenges in their lives would dissipate if they just had enough money. Nothing could be further from the truth. Earning more money, in and of itself, rarely frees people. It's equally ridiculous to tell yourself that greater financial freedom and mastery of your finances would not offer your greater opportunities to expand, share, and create value for yourself and others.

- Robbins, Anthony
11.

HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation. So skilled the parson was in homiletics That all his normal purges and emetics To medicine the spirit were compounded With a most just discrimination founded Upon a rigorous examination Of tongue and pulse and heart and respiration. Then, having diagnosed each one's condition, His scriptural specifics this physician Administered -- his pills so efficacious And pukes of disposition so vivacious That souls afflicted with ten kinds of Adam Were convalescent ere they knew they had'em. But Slander's tongue -- itself all coated -- uttered Her bilious mind and scandalously muttered That in the case of patients having money The pills were sugar and the pukes were honey. _Biography of Bishop Potter_

- Ambrose Bierce
12.

Time is waste of money.

- Wilde, Oscar
13.

We might make a public moan in the newspapers about the decay of conscience, but in private conversation, no matter what crimes a man may have committed or how cynically he may have debased his talent or his friends, variations on the answer Yes, but I did it for the money, satisfy all but the most tiresome objections.

- Lapham, Lewis H.
14.

Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes.

- Aaron McGruder
15.

Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle.

- Ken Hakuta
16.

I'm not a driven businessman, but a driven artist. I never think about money. Beautiful things make money.

- Beene, Geoffrey
17.

The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.

18.

The buck stops with the guy who signs the checks.

- Murdoch, Rupert
19.

PALMISTRY, n. The 947th method (according to Mimbleshaw's classification) of obtaining money by false pretences. It consists in "reading character" in the wrinkles made by closing the hand. The pretence is not altogether false; character can really be read very accurately in this way, for the wrinkles in every hand submitted plainly spell the word "dupe." The imposture consists in not reading it aloud.

- Ambrose Bierce
20.

Every man now worships gold, all other reverence being done away.

- Propertius, Sextus


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