weird english movie names
Step into liquid
. It was only released last week, but its made its mark instantly in the annals of bad movie title history. If you didnt see the poster, youd think this movie was about walking into a bathroom with piss on the floor.
Stop or my mom will shoot
. Im sure that, on paper, a film pairing the monster talents of Sylvester Stallone and Estelle Getty seemed like a great idea, but with a title like this, what little chance it had to get more than 5 people to buy a ticket was shot all to hell. Im still waiting for the sequel, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bea Arthur. More clever, was the porn version, STOP! Or My Mom Will Suck Your Cock!
Bend it like beckham
. The title of this film comes from the special way that UK Soccer star David Beckham could curve the ball when he kicked it. The films tagline is equally awful, Who wants to cook Aloo Gobi when you can bend a ball like Beckham? I cant wait for the baseball themed sequel, Bend Me Like Piazza.
. I dont know if this is a movie, some kind of menstrual aid, or a Smooth Jazz radio station!
Half past dead
. I laughed out loud when I first saw the commercial for this. Half Past Dead sounds like one of the phony McBain action movies theyd show on an episode of The Simpsons.
Breakin 2 electric boogaloo
. Perhaps the worst titled sequel of all time, Electric Boogaloo has become the catch phrase of choice for anyone making fun of a Part 2. The original title, Breakin 2: The Quickening was scrapped, but later picked up as a part of the Highlander film series.
K 19 the widowmaker
. For some reason, I keep thinking of Mentos: The Freshmaker when I see this horribly titled film mentioned. Movies with crazy letter/number combinations like K2, U1571, THX-1138, and the bestiality classic k9-694U always make me scratch my head in disgust.
. While the gang at the Something Awful forums was helping me brainstorm ideas, Mr. Rich Lowtax Kyanka himself reminded me of this crappily titled masterpiece. The pun is just idiotic, though the lead actor, Bokeem Woodbine has a name thats nearly as ridiculous. You see, hes black and hes a male! This same film company is ready to release the new Woody Allen film, OLDJEW.
. Theres not too many films with as incomprehensible of a title as this one, which features the tale of a caveman that falls in love with a teenage hottie. The 1962 film was also released as EEGAH! The Name Written In Blood! More like written in shit...AM I RIGHT?
Rat pfink a boo boo
. All I can say, is What the Phuck? Ray Dennis Steckler is about as nice and approachable of a guy in film youll ever have the pleasure of meeting, but his skills at titling his movies are only slightly worse than his skill at making them! The film was actually supposed to be Rat Pfink and Boo Boo but the printer screwed up and wrote Rat Pfink A Boo Boo instead. Steckler didnt have enough cash to reprint them, so he just left it as is. Of cours
Ballistic ecks vs Sever
. It takes a special kind of genius to fuck up a movie featuring Lucy Liu in skin tight leather, but somehow they do it, no thanks to the ridiculous title. If you say Ecks Vs. Seer 10 times fast, you can raise the dead.
. This movie had train wreck written all over it, largely in part to the insipid title, which had to be accompanied with a phonetic pronunciation guide in the press kits insisting reporters say it like, Gee-Lee. It would have been more honest, and easier to pronounce, if they just titled the film Shit.
Honey i blew up the kid
. This shocking title seems more like a training film for Hamas, than something Disney would have released. Of course, when you let the director of Re-Animator, Stuart Gordon, write a kids film, youre just asking for trouble.
Leonard part 6
. Cosby was on top of the world in the 80s. His show was the number one thing on TV, and people were buying Jell-O Pudding Pops like they were going out of style. But for some reason, they just couldnt put him in movies that anyone cared about. The confusingly named Leonard Part 6 just baffled that hell out of the moviegoing public. See, he was this spy, and this was supposed to be the 6th episode in his series of spy films, even though it was
. One couldnt help but think of something else that floats when looking at the title of this film.
Jesse james meets frankensteins daughter
. This film is bad from top to bottom. I just cant imagine a boy in 1966 getting excited about seeing this showdown of titans. What the hell? Its like they just pulled 2 names out of the Crappy Character Hat and were forced to make a movie about it on a dare. The same director, William Beaudine (who had a remarkably long career going back to 1910!), also directed Billy The Kid Meets Dracula the same year! Yep, 1966 was a golden time for shitty
Gleaming the cube
. More a euphemism for masturbation than a title for a film, this movie took a supposed well known term to appeal to hard core skaters, and just made them laugh. So ridiculous, the title was, that it was renamed A Brothers Justice when it was released on network television. And now you know...the rest of the story!
Manos hands of fate
. Certainly, if were not for the Mystery Science Theater treatment of this film, nobody would have ever heard of Manos: Hands of Fate which when translated completely from Spanish means Hands: Hands of Fate.
Attack of the clones
. It takes a lot to turn Star Wars fans against the great George Lucas, but months before the film was released, they rallied against the ridiculous subtitle of Episode 2 with more fury than the news that N*SYNC was going to guest star in the film. Prelude to Darkness even Nerds In Paradise would have been a better subtitle than Attack of The Clones.
The incredibly strange
. Yes, the same man that brought you Rat Pfink A Boo Boo brought you this incomprehensibly titled film. The films director, Ray Dennis Steckler, originally titled the film The Incredibly Strange Creature: Or Why I stopped Living and Became a Mixed-up Zombie, but under legal threats from Columbia Pictures, who felt it was too close to their upcoming Stanley Kubrick film, Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. The dir
. Loner and social outcast, Donnie, is plagued by bad dreams, sleepwalking and the always enjoyable hallucinations of scary demonic rabbits named Frank. At its heart, its a mystery film that never really explains the mystery but doesnt deter from constantly bring out mysterious scenes,clues and all around weird antics. Supposedly it all has to do with quantum physics and time theory which I dont even think the screenwriters fully grasped. It doesn
Carnival of Souls
. One of the first great (and I mean great) pieces of psychological horror. What is reality? Am I imagining all this? Is it just a dream? Who can I trust? The film is hypnotic and tells the story of a young woman who, after a car accident, tries to rebuild a life in a new town. Shes strangely drawn to an abandoned amusement park, has trance-like dreams and is constantly afraid she is being watched and followed by a ghoulish character only named the
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
. A classic childrens book was retooled for the big screen by the books author, Roald Dahl in 1971. The difference, though, is its a musical. A musical about an odd candy factory owner whos factor employs midgets (likely because theyre cheap and eat less) entices children by making everything made of candy and sings and dances. So...its kinda like Michael Jacksons Neverland. (too soon?) But it is a charming, if not completely weird, bit of psyched
. Ill say right now there are two filmmakers that appear a lot on this list: David Cronenberg and David Lynch. If youve seen their movies, that should be no surprise. If you havent, you at least know their names. Blue Velvet, which Lynch was nominated for an Oscar I might add, may not be as surrealist and dream-like as his other films, but that doesnt mean its not without its sense of discomfort and odd characters. Blue Velvet tells the story of Je
. This is John Carpenters very first film. Wow...does it show. You can see flashes of future brilliance in there, between the scruffy beards and 70s haircuts but Its still a low-budget b-movie nonetheless. What I find interesting is that the DVD cover says The Ultimate Cosmic Comedy. Yeah...its not funny. Its satirical at times, but not particularity funny. Its just weird, and maybe that alone is what makes it so funny. Its about a lone, small shi
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
. Hunter S. Thompsons odd and mindbending time in Las Vegas comes to full life in Terry Gilliams adaptation of the classic, Gonzo-Journalist novel. The book is a little bit of non-fiction, a little bit of fiction and a hell of a lot of rambling monologues, thoughts and imaginative descriptions on the experiences of taking drugs. There really could be no better director to bring it to life and no better actor than Johnny Depp to portray the title ch
Alice in Wonderland
. Disneys animated classic, which is combination (or reimagining, if you will) of the books Alices Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll, had quite a daunting task on envisioning Carrolls extraordinary classic tale. For some reason, rather than stay with a rather traditional presentation seen in Snow White or Cinderella, the animators took it to a new level by having the visuals as odd and striking as the story its
. Existenz, excuse me eXistenZ (its spelled like that for a reason) is about videogames. Its about bio-mechanical, videogames, actually. What does that mean, you ask? Well...the game controller things are fleshy, pulsate and you plug them into your body. The designer of these litle meat pods is under threat, assassins hunting her down, and then Jude Law shows up and the two of them have to play the game, which is strangely sexual and strangely addi
Requiem for a Dream
. Another drug-based film that, like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas previously on this list, shows us the experience and depths users will sink to. Unlike Fear and Loathing, though, its not quite as, shall we say, happy with it all. Fear and Loathing is a fun trip, this is a bad one and it doesnt shy away from telling you and showing you just how fucked up drugs can make your life. Its more a series or collection of drug users destroying their live
. Audition is a story of obsession and infatuation about a man who is looking for a woman he can start a new relationship with by sitting in on actress auditions. One catches his fancy. The movies message says that what we might think we know about someone, going by merely appearances and brief encounters, isnt always the real person. Often, its all an act. Takashi Miike is known for films that will shock you, and the complete 180 of visual presump
. A surprisingly funny, piece of filmmaking by one of my favorite directors, Jean-Pierre Jeunet (Amelie, City of Lost Children) and Marc Caro. Delicatessen was his first film and, even though its visually impressive, ends up being a mish-mash of strange scenes and stranger characters. Its about their lives, quirks and weird behaviors. Oh, did I mention it takes place in a post-apocalyptic world and they all live in a ruined apartment building? Yeah
. Alright, its about at this point things are going to start getting really weird. Almost to the point where I cant really describe the movies. At least the previous pieces of film have a solid semblance of a story and plot, but were going to gradually start losing that starting now. Theyre just that bizaare. David Lynchs Lost Highway is a perfect example. I suppose I should start with the following: A man is accused of killing his wife, then he
. Should we thank the Beatles for drugs or the drugs for the Beatles? Somehow in 1968 both collided and out sprawled the psychedelic head-trip (that is supposedly for kids) known as Yellow Submarine. Captain Fred...yes, Fred...asks the Beatles to save his beloved Pepperland from the Blue Meanies. The Blue Meanies hate music, so the Beatles are there to save them. How? Thats a damn good question. Play music and drive them away is all I can assume ha
. Terry Gilliams Brazil is methodical in its imagery and story. Some films will simply throw in random scenes of strangeness to confound you, yet in Brazil they all seem to have a purpose in some form or another. Similar to the world it presents, being to the letter and efficient yet strange and off somehow. Its pretty coherent, especially early on, but slowly dives in to be stranger and stranger as we progress. A wrong man is arrested for being a
. Tim Robbins plays a Vietnam Vet who finds himself in some wacky situations. Its a screwball comedy with an all-star cast that brings the laughs about how silly ole Jacob is having a gosh-darn hard time getting his life together.Oh, sorry. Got sidetracked there. I suppose thats wishful thinking. Jacobs Ladder is actually one of the more disturbing and dark films youll ever see. Jacob is trying to get his life together, but its because hes haunted
. Sleazy TV programmer Max Reen stumbles across an odd and hidden broadcast simply labeled Videodrome that shows torture, sex and murder. Supposedly its fake but Max feels its real. His stupid girlfriend, turned on by it all, goes off to audition and Maxs investigation into the weird and surreal, if not disturbing, world of Videodrome, its secret transmission and how it all relates to the mind begins. Its Crononeberg at one of his weirdest and best
. Theres nothing like mind experiments to screw you up royally. Altered States tells the story of a psychology professor (William Hurt) who feels he needs to prove that the subconscious is just as real as the conscious. Well...lets just say things get a little out of hand, what with his drugs, deprivation tanks and dancing... and we are given some of the most bizarre and even scary imagery you could ask for. The film is dark, many of the dreams an
. Intelligent, Spiritual, thought-provoking. Pi is the story of a mathematician, Max, who stumbles across a unique string of numbers. The string, apparently, is the answer to all of lifes questions. Within its 216 numbers lies the solutions to everything, from predicting the future to understanding God. Now everybody wants it, and Max, unfortunately is also a shut-in paranoid schizophrenic. The film is entirely about paranoia and strangely, that pa
. Wow, Pink Floyd makes a film and its weird as shit. Who would have thought? For those who dont know, the concept album the Wall tells the story of Pink and his desire to destroy the Wall. Its about isolation and eventual losing of ones mind - Pink locks himself away in a hotel room and gradually begins hallucinating and shaving his body hair (based on former Pink Floyd band member, Syd Barret). The film does all this with little to no dialogue an
. Ok, stay with me here. Naked Lunch is a pseudo-autobiographical story by William S. Burroughs, who is known as an odd duck to begin with but also a renowned opiate addict (oh, this is already getting good). He runs off one day to Tangiers and decides to write a book. Now you have David Cronenberg wanting to do a film version of, what most considered, an unfilmable book. Ok, this list should give you and idea on his approach to things with eXiste
. This should be no surprise to anyone who has seen it. The film that put David Lynch on the map. It involves a deformed baby, some guy pulling levers and a woman with large cheeks that lives inside of our protagonists radiator and dances and sing. Any of that make sense? No? Good, then you you just got a glimpse of what the movie is about. It doesnt have a typical linear structure, although you can maybe piece a story together about how our hero H