tips to succeed in love
. How can you know what is expected of you if you are not clear about what exactly you are trying to achieve? In the workplace you must get clear direction from your superior. In your relationships you have to have an open dialog about what you are trying to gain collectively and what are you bottom line of needs. Likewise, if you are currently not in a relationship or on a job, you should get a blank journal book for each and begin to clearly defi
Set forth your intentions
. You cannot hit a target if you cannot see it. Once you have become clear about what you want from your career and in your love life then you can start to visualize yourself in that space. If you have been unfulfilled in past relationships, with lovers and workplace it will be challenging get out of the cycle of being unfulfilled. Visualizing yourself as you would like to experience your relationships and successful career opens your mind on a su
Seek out necessary resources
. When you stop learning you should be dead I mean that literally. The time to learn is now and always. Read books, go to seminars, buy programs that will help you advance, attend retreats, talk to your mentors, have lunch with the CEO of your company and other successful people in life, and do whatever it takes to develop the necessary tools for obtaining massive success, abundance and overflowing love. No need to wait until the need arises to le
Push beyond your limitations
. While comfort zones are comfortable, they are also limiting. Sometimes we get caught in these comfort zones and mistake them for what is meant to be but youll find that if you are willing to push yourself out of this space you will likely be met with success and happiness beyond your imagination. If youve only ever dated one type of person then open yourself to others. African American women are notorious for this by exclusively dating within th
Go above and beyond
. Dont be afraid to take on new challenges without being instructed to do so. Take the initiative to do more than is expected of you. Since mediocrity is the norm your enthusiastic efforts to do more will be noticed and presumably rewarded. More importantly, you will begin to have higher standards for yourself which will undoubtedly set you apart from the rest. And as you know, top quality positions take top quality people to fill them; profession
Take action now
. Procrastination can be your worst enemy. The most common reasons that people procrastinate is because they dont know where/how to begin, it appears overwhelming, they havent obtained the proper resources and they are afraid of change. Rarely is it because they are lazy. Laziness is something completely different. There is no better time than now to take action toward achieving your own success and happiness. NOW is the right time to get clear, se
He sees love as a journey
. Less than successful lovers often think that winning a womans heart is a once and for all event. Not so. Our man does not see his partner as territory on a map to be surrounded and captured, but as an equal traveling companion through lifes adventures. He knows she must be wooed, won, and wowed every day if he hopes to enjoy her company for a few more miles.
He is not in a hurry
. Since love is a journey with no end, there is no point rushing toward some moment of arrival. Men who do so often consider their relationship a done deal and stop doing the work to maintain and deepen it. The successful partner understands that it takes time to truly get to know someone and build the trust necessary for genuine intimacy. Always.
He holds out for the best
. He doesnt sacrifice long term happiness for momentary entertainment. In other words, the man who succeeds at love has patience enough to wait for it even when hes really tired of waiting. Thats not to say he sits at home alone flipping through TV channels every night. Hes engaged with the world and has his eyes open for signs of romantic possibility. But he knows enough to see a partners potential as it really is, not simply as hed like it to be.
He understands the paradox of generosity
. Many men mistakenly equate overt affection and attentiveness the very things most women say they want from a man with appearing weak or needy. The playground pecking order is unkind to boys who dont quickly learn to avoid these things like the plague. So he projects strength through a rough and even miserly emotional exterior. The man destined to succeed in forming a balanced relationship with his woman has moved past all that. He understands tha
He keeps his balance
. In work, at play, in conflict, in his wants and needs, the successful lover knows how to keep sight of whats important. He sees the wisdom and value of moderation. Hes serious about his career, but not to the point of neglecting the people in his life. He likes to win but enjoys celebrating his womans successes as well. This man steers clear of any excesses that threaten his equilibrium.
He sees his life as a self
. A man who grows defensive and hostile at the first hint of criticism is handicapped from the get go in a relationship. The successful guy is well aware that he isnt perfect, which makes him able to consider his partners point of view in a conflict. Hes ahead of the curve and never stops growing, learning, and reaching. Hes no push over, but when he is wrong, he owns it and does what is necessary to make things right.
Up the numbers
. Dating is, in some respects, a numbers game. Can you find life long love with your first boyfriend? Sure, its possible but not very probable. For most couples, it takes meeting and spending time with lots of potential partners before discovering the right match. Just as weve all met couples who, by all appearances, have been successful at finding true love, weve all met singles who complain they are unlucky in love and yet hole up at home, never
Make peace with your sexuality
. Your femininity and sexuality are powerful forces that at the risk of sounding like a superhero movie can be used for good or evil. Women who are successful at love tend to embrace a healthy perspective of their feminine charms. They dont repress their sexuality and they dont use it as a means of acting out, sabotaging themselves, or manipulating the men they date. If you feel trapped by the need to repress your femininity sexuality, or if you us
Walk the walk
. Youre worthy of being loved and cherished. And if youre worthy of being loved and cherished by a man, youre also worthy of being loved and cherished by yourself. This isnt about having the perfect features or curves of a supermodel. But it is about refusing to let yourself go. When a woman deems herself unworthy of the time and effort to exercise, eat well, and be well groomed, it sends a message to the world I dont think Im worth the effort. Its
. Being successful at romantic relationships means knowing how to love well. There are a lot of healthy relationship skills that are wrapped up in these two little words Love well but those skills include choosing to forgive, asking for forgiveness when needed, setting healthy boundaries, communicating from your heart, being a good listener, and using your words to build instead of destroy. All the relational and social skills that may you success
Create a safe environment for sharing
. Dont interrupt, even if you need to put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself. Learn to fight fairly. No name calling. Dont make threats. Apologize when you know you should. If youre too angry to really listen, stop! Go into another room, take space for yourself, breathe, and calm down. Remember your partner is not the enemy.
Separate the facts from the feelings
. What beliefs and feelings get triggered in you during conflicts? Ask yourself Is there something from my past that is influencing how Im seeing the situation now? The critical question you want to ask Is this about him or her, or is it really about me? Whats the real truth? Once youre able to differentiate facts from feelings, youll see your partner more clearly and be able to resolve conflicts from clarity.
Create a we that can house two Is
. The FOUNDATION for a thriving, growing, mutually supportive relationship is to be separate and connected. In co dependent relationships, each person sacrifices part of him or her self, compromising the relationship as a whole. When you are separate and connected, each individual I contributes to the creation of a we that is stronger than the sum of its parts.
. Practice observing yourself and your partner without judging. Part of you might judge, but you dont have to identify with it. Judging closes a door. The opposite of judging is compassion. When you are compassionate, you are open, connected, and more available to dialoging respectfully with your partner. As you increasingly learn to see your partner compassionately, you will have more power to choose your response rather than just reacting.
Partner heal thyself
. Dont expect your partner to fill your emotional holes, and dont try to fill theirs. Ultimately, each of us can only heal ourselves. Your partner, however, can be supportive as you work with yourself, and vice versa. In fact, living in a loving relationship is healing in and of itself.
Relish the differences between you
. The differences between you and your partner are not negatives. You dont need to be with someone who shares all of your interests and views. We may sometimes fear that these differences are incompatibilities, but in fact, theyre often what keeps a relationship exciting and full of good fire.
. All too often, we make up our own stories or interpretations about what our partners behavior means. For example She doesnt want to cuddle; she must not really love me anymore. We can never err on the side of asking too many questions, and then listen to the answers from your whole self heart, gut, mind and body. Equally important is to hear whats not being said the facts and feeling that you sense might be unspoken.
Make time for your relationship
. No matter who you are or what your work is, you need to nurture your relationship. Make sure you schedule time for the well being of your relationship. That includes making playdates and also taking downtime together. Frequently create a sacred space together by shutting off all things technological and digital. Like a garden, the more you tend to your relationship, the more it will grow.
Say the hard things from love
. Become aware of the hard things that youre not talking about. How does that feel? No matter what youre feeling in a situation, channel the energy of your emotions so that you say what you need to say in a constructive manner.
Connect with the different parts of yourself
. Each of us is not a solo instrument. Were more like a choir or an orchestra with several voices. What is your mind saying? What is your heart saying? What is your body saying? What is your gut saying? For example My mind is saying
Improve your social skills
. According to research conducted by University of California Santa Barbara economist Catherine Weinberger, the most successful business people excel in both cognitive ability and social skills, something that hasnt always been true. She crunched data linking adolescent skills in 1972 and 1992 with adult outcomes, and found that in 1980, having both skills didnt correlate with better success, whereas today the combination does. The people who are b
Talk to each other
. just because you love each other doesnt mean you will be able to communicate well or can read your partners mind, or that they can read yours. Communicate your needs dont wait for your partner to try to guess what is going on with you. If you have something to bring up, do it gently going on the attack rarely gets you what you want.
Listen to each other
. Often we are so busy defending ourselves that we dont hear what our partner is saying. Let your partner know that you have heard them before you give them your response.
Make repair attempts
. If your attempts to talk about an issue dont go as planned, try not to let the situation become even more negative such as not talking for extended periods or ignoring the other persons attempts. Saying sorry or touching your partner in a caring manner shows you care, even though you disagree.
Everyone is different
. Accept and value differences in others, including your partner. We often choose people who have qualities and abilities we would like more of. This is one of the reasons why our relationships offer us significant opportunities to grow and develop as people. Remind yourself of this.
Maintain your independence
. It is true that, especially in the early stages of a relationship, people are willing to give up everything just to be with their partner. Unfortunately, this is a mistake. You get to be bored and frustrated that you quit your habits. Even though most of the time you spend together, youd better not give up your habits and meet with your friends too. Moreover, urge your partner to do the same. The freer you will feel in a relationship, the happier
Try to make him happy
. Gestures matters more than you think. A note that says I love you stuck on the bathroom mirror or brought breakfast in bed from time to time are ways to make your partners happy. In addition, do not be afraid to leave him sometimes sexy messages on the phone or even on the online dating site as if you were at the beginning of the relationship and burn with impatience to get him in bed. Of course, through gestures that will make happy only include