Myth about Anger
myths about anger Before you can change the way you think about anger, and the way you act.
1. Anger is inherited
The way we express anger is inherited and cannot be changed. Sometimes, we may hear someone say, I inherited my anger from my father; that s just the way I am. This statement implies that the expression of anger is a fixed and unalterable set of behaviours. Evidence from research studies, however, indicates that people are not born with set, specific ways of expressing anger. These studies show, rather, that because the expression of anger is learned behaviour, more appropriate ways of expressing anger also can be learned.
2. Anger automatically leads to aggression
Anger is something that builds and escalates to the point of an aggressive outburst. However, as has been covered in our previous article on Anger Management, anger does not necessarily lead automatically to aggression. Think about it chances are there have been times when you ve felt really angry but it simply hasn t been appropriate to act aggressively, such as at work or when talking to a police officer. If you can control your behaviour at those times, you can control it at others.
3. Anger in an aggressive way people listen and I gain respect
While holding in your anger is not healthy and usually only causes you to become angrier, venting anger inappropriately is also not healthy. Expressing yourself in an angry aggressive manner can just make the situation worse.
4. Venting anger is always desirable
The popular belief among mental health professionals and laymen was that the aggressive expression of anger, such as screaming or beating on pillows, was healthy and therapeutic. Research studies have found, however, that people who vent their anger aggressively simply get better at being angry. In other words, venting anger in an aggressive manner reinforces aggressive behaviour.
5. Males are angrier than females
It,s simply not true that men are angrier than women. Surveys show that women get mad just as frequently as men about once or twice a week on average. On the other hand, men tend to report more intense anger, while women tend to hang on to anger longer.
6. Anger is only a problem when you openly express it
10 percent of people act out their feelings when they get angry. The other 90 percent either suppress their anger ( I don t want to talk about it! ) or repress their anger ( I m not angry at all really! ). People who express their anger are the squeaky wheels who get everyone s attention; people who repress or suppress their anger need anger management just as much.The older you get, the more irritable you are. It s the other way around as people age, they report fewer negative emotions and greater emotional control. People like wine and cheese do tend to improve with age.
7. Anger is all in the mind
Emotions are primarily physical in nature. If anger were only a state of mind, why would someone say, I feel like I have a big fist in my chest when I get that angry ? Believe me, when you get mad, that emotion is instantly manifested in muscles throughout your entire body, the hairs on the back of your neck, your blood pressure, your blood sugar levels, your heart rate, your respiration rate, your gut, even your finger temperature (it warms up!) long before you re aware of what s happening.
8. Anger results from human conflict
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. One of the leading experts on anger has found that people can get angry by being exposed to foul odors, aches and pains, and hot temperatures none of which involve (or can be blamed on) the actions of others.
9. ANGER IS NOT AN ALL OR NOTHING PHENOMENON
Anger typically occurs in degrees, ranging from mild annoyance to intense rage. Some people have a problem labeling negative feelings. They consider any experience of hostility as an intense, urgent crisis, even if it s just a momentary frustration. Such people tend to have an over active inner brat that makes mountains out of molehills.
10. NOT ALL ANGER IS UNHEALTHY OR DESTRUCTIVE
Sometimes anger is definitely justified. For example, if you have been betrayed by a friend, or if you have been physically attacked by someone, or if there is a major social injustice these are all times where anger is appropriate. Biologically speaking, anger gets your adrenalin going, and spurs you into action. On the other hand, the hissy fits that people throw over minor irritations are both unhealthy and destructive. Anger has serious implications for your health. Research shows that among all the risk factors for heart disease, chronic anger is the most significant predictor more than smoking, obesity and high blood pressure. Temper tantrums and other fits of anger are rarely useful. In fact, they erode not only people s respect for you, but also your own self respect.
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