Humor quotes
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

- John Kenneth Galbraith
When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it's just wonderful.

- Truffaut, Francois
Evangelism as the New Testament describes it is not child's play. Evangelism is work, often hard work. Yet it is not drudgery. It puts person in good humor, and makes him truly human.

- Hoffman, Oswald C.
Good humor isn't a trait of character, it is an art which requires practice.

- Seabury, David
True humor is fun - it does not put down, kid, or mock. It makes people feel wonderful, not separate, different, and cut off. True humor has beneath it the understanding that we are all in this together.

- Hugh Prather
A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.

- West, Jessamyn
For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies.

- Sterne, Laurence
There are two insults no human will endure. The assertion that he has no sense of humor and the doubly impertinent assertion that he has never known trouble.

- Lewis, Sinclair
True humor springs not more from the head than from the heart. It is not contempt; its essence is love. It issues not in laughter, but in still smiles, which lie far deeper.

- Carlyle, Thomas
A joke was not a single-use item but something you brought out again and again until it fell apart in your hand like a cheap umbrella.

- David Nicholls
Humor is our way of defending ourselves from life's absurdities by thinking absurdly about them.

- Lewis Mumford
Men are happy to be laughed at for their humor, but not for their folly.

- Swift, Jonathan
Humor is consistent with pathos, whilst wit is not.

- Coleridge, Samuel Taylor
I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.

- Mark Twain
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.

- Twain, Mark
Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.

- Bombeck, Erma
SHERIFF, n. In America the chief executive office of a country, whose most characteristic duties, in some of the Western and Southern States, are the catching and hanging of rogues. John Elmer Pettibone Cajee (I write of him with little glee) Was just as bad as he could be. 'Twas frequently remarked: "I swon! The sun has never looked upon So bad a man as Neighbor John." A sinner through and through, he had This added fault: it made him mad To know another man was bad. In such a case he thought it right To rise at any hour of night And quench that wicked person's light. Despite the town's entreaties, he Would hale him to the nearest tree And leave him swinging wide and free. Or sometimes, if the humor came, A luckless wight's reluctant frame Was given to the cheerful flame. While it was turning nice and brown, All unconcerned John met the frown Of that austere and righteous town. "How sad," his neighbors said, "that he So scornful of the law should be -- An anar c, h, i, s, t." (That is the way that they preferred To utter the abhorrent word, So strong the aversion that it stirred.) "Resolved," they said, continuing, "That Badman John must cease this thing Of having his unlawful fling. "Now, by these sacred relics" -- here Each man had out a souvenir Got at a lynching yesteryear -- "By these we swear he shall forsake His ways, nor cause our hearts to ache By sins of rope and torch and stake. "We'll tie his red right hand until He'll have small freedom to fulfil The mandates of his lawless will." So, in convention then and there, They named him Sheriff. The affair Was opened, it is said, with prayer. J. Milton Sloluck

- Ambrose Bierce
A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.

- Herold, Don
Although our productions have afforded more extensive and unaffected pleasure than those of any other literary corporation in the world, no species of composition has been so much decried. And what are you reading, Miss -- -? Oh! it is only a novel! replies the young lady; while she lays down her book with affected indifference, or momentary shame. It is only Cecilia, or Camilla, or Belinda ; or, in short, only some work in which the greatest powers of the mind are displayed, in which the most thorough knowledge of human nature, the happiest delineation of its varieties, the liveliest effusions of wit and humor, are conveyed to the world in the best chosen language.

- Austen, Jane
If you can make a woman laugh you can do anything with her.

- Williamson, Nicol

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