Churches quotes
People have described me as a management bishop but I say to my critics, Jesus was a management expert too.

- Carey, George
Be neither intimate nor distant with the clergy.

- Proverb, Irish
I'll give you a simple formula for straightening out the problems of the United States. First, you tax the churches. You take the tax off of capital gains and the tax off of savings. You decriminalize all drugs and tax them same way as you do alcohol. You decriminalize prostitution. You make gambling legal. That will put the budget back on the road to recovery, and you'll have plenty of tax revenue coming in for all of your social programs, and to run the army.

- Frank Zappa
Once is orthodox, twice is puritanical.

- Melbourne, Lord
The parson knows enough who knows a Duke.

- Cowper, William
He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic.

- Amis, Kingsley
The root of almost every schism and heresy from which the Christian Church has suffered, has been because of the effort of men to earn, rather than receive their salvation; and the reason preaching is so commonly ineffective is, that it often calls on people to work for God rather than letting God work through them.

- Ruskin, John
When one loses the deep intimate relationship with nature, then temples, mosques and churches become important.

- Krishnamurti
The act of bell ringing is symbolic of all proselytizing religions. It implies the pointless interference with the quiet of other people.

- Pound, Ezra
I don't go to church. Kneeling bags my nylons.

- Wilder, Billy
The itch of disputing is the scab of the churches.

- Wotton, Sir Henry
This merriment of parsons is mighty offensive.

- Johnson, Samuel
Somewhere in the bible it say Jesus hair was like lamb's wool, I say. Well, say Shug, if he came to any of these churches we talking bout he'd have to have it conked before anybody paid him any attention. The last thing niggers want to think about they God is that his hair kinky.

- Walker, Alice
A little, round, fat, oily man of God.

- Thomson, James
TRINITY, n. In the multiplex theism of certain Christian churches, three entirely distinct deities consistent with only one. Subordinate deities of the polytheistic faith, such as devils and angels, are not dowered with the power of combination, and must urge individually their clames to adoration and propitiation. The Trinity is one of the most sublime mysteries of our holy religion. In rejecting it because it is incomprehensible, Unitarians betray their inadequate sense of theological fundamentals. In religion we believe only what we do not understand, except in the instance of an intelligible doctrine that contradicts an incomprehensible one. In that case we believe the former as a part of the latter.

- Ambrose Bierce
Church attendance is as vital to a disciple as a transfusion of rich, healthy blood to a sick man.

- Moody, Dwight L.
The church exists to train its member through the practice of the presence of God to be servants of others, to the end that Christlikeness may become common property.

- Brown, William Adams
The Bible knows nothing of solitary religion.

- Wesley, John
The Christian church is a society of sinners. It is the only society in the world, membership in which is based upon the single qualification that the candidate shall be unworthy of membership.

- Morrison, Charles C.
There is not in the universe a more ridiculous, nor a more contemptible animal, than a proud clergyman.

- Fielding, Henry

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